Library Bastards, Broken Homies, Supreme Overlord and an Ewok

Many years ago, two of us started our own club called Library Bastards - the rules being that you had to:

1. Work in a library and,
2. Be a bastard (as in, born out of wedlock).

We only ever had two members of our club (us), and up until recently I had forgotten all about the club (whose Facebook page died the death of the chronically neglected years ago). Now that the idea of Library Bastards has been (for the moment at least) revived, something a colleague said during our lunch break caught our ear: she's a bastard too!

It was quite gratifying to realise that we now have a third member of our Bastard club on board. We were discussing the club over lunch and I claimed to be the Supreme Overlord of Bastards since my parents were never married. Technically our newest member is in the same boat, since her father was never married to her mother, and instead her mother married her stepfather soon after she was born. So then I claimed to still be the Supreme Overlord of Bastards because my parents have never been married to anyone, ever, let alone each other.

I win, folks.

My original fellow Bastard was referred to as a stormtrooper to my Vader of Bastards, but she doesn't want to be a stormtrooper - she wants to be an ewok. I just thought that was unfair 'cause she gets to be too cute and fluffy, while I have to be DAAAARKNESS incarnate. But hey, I wanted the mantle of Supreme Overlord so I guess that's what you get.

The story isn't over, in case you wondered. Because what happened next was that a fourth colleague in a fit of envy requested to join our club. The problem, though, is that she's never actually been a bastard. She simply doesn't qualify. if you're going by those two rules up above. However, there is now a new club of which she is the head - the Broken Homies club - because she's from a broken home.

I tried to join her club since technically my home is/was broken too, but this new Supreme Overlord of Broken Homies brutally rebuffed my advance by claiming that her club is only for children of broken homes whose parents were married and then divorced. Hmph. I find that discriminatory, but oh well, we've created a monster now and it's loose in the world, rampaging.

So why am I discussing these clubs today? Well, I popped over here to find out if we had ever written about Library Bastards before, and it seems we hadn't. So I thought it was about time we did - particularly as we now have Broken Homies to talk about as well.

And will you look at that! We have two blog posts for 2017.

EDIT: S.O.B. = Supreme Overlord Bastard.