A new year...a new office space...and a new whiteboard!

It's that time again - the time when we clear off our wondrous whiteboard full of groovy things and start afresh. Fitting, really, since we're now in our new office space after spending endless weeks in what we called "library camp". The ants are gone, we have running water and we're seated within sight of a window... Yes, fresh air is the name of our game, and if it wasn't ridiculously stinkin' hot (I hate summer) we'd actually be enjoying some of it.

Anyway, the white board needs cleaning off, but some things will remain, for e.g. our time-map for each day:

• 8am - 9am - Breakfast
• 9am - 10am - Brorning Tea
• 10am - 11am - Morning Tea
• 11am - 12pm - Munch
• 12pm - 2pm - Lunch
• 2pm - 5pm - Postmunchitis

Possibly everything else will go, though we might actually keep the lists of items of work we're meant to be doing... I dunno.

Did I mention that Mo-faux Monday occurs every Monday?

Sugar Plum Fairies, dancing all around

If you feel the urge to swear but don't want to offend sensitive colleagues' ears, why not yell out, "Sugar Plum Fairies!" at the top of your lungs?

Sugar Plum Fairies is an inhabitant of our newly-cleaned-in-2012 whiteboard. Other things on the whiteboard include a map of all the different times of the day in which one can pause to eat:

• 8am-9am - Breakfast
• 9am-10am - Brorning Tea
• 10am-11am - Morning Tea
• 11am-12pm - Munch
• 12pm-2pm - Lunch
• 2pm-5pm - Postmunchitis

Some of these you may recognise from previous blog posts around here.

Also on the board at present is a note pointing to the "Naughty Fan Corner", where our fan sits sulking 'cause we made it face the wall (prevents unseemly blowing of air into library employees' eyeballs and/or carefully coiffed hair). The fan did have an outing one day, when it was loaned out to another colleague just down the corridor a little way. But the fan had been naughty once again so it's back in its corner. Sulking.

I'd go on, but I want to mention a very special author featured in our library catalogue: one William McConnel Wanklyn, who authored the works:

• The administrative control of smallpox : how to prevent or stop an outbreak (86 p., 1913)
• London public health administration : a summary showing the principal authorities, with their origin, services and powers (59 p., 1913).

It seems Mr. Wanklyn was a pretty busy guy in 1913!

There was nary a hair on the brawny tea

It was time for a cup of tea (being brorning tea time, you see...ahead of MUNCH, but after the usual breakfast time), so I went down to the ocean and scooped up a mugful of briny water, which I planned to boil in the perfectly ordinary kettle in the staff tea room. While I was on the shore, a frightfully robust dude slathered in coconut oil, with a shiny orange tan, budgie smugglers and peroxide blonde hair, approached me. He moved with an impressive swagger, and as he drew up before me asked, "Heez it gahn?" and favoured me with a sly wink.

I stammered an incoherent response and turned to run, freaked the heck out by this spectacle of nature.

Just kidding, none of that happened. But it is brorning tea time.

“I'm absolutely chockers...!”

My colleague just returned to the office after a late lunch/early afternoon tea (which we are thinking of referring to as Aunch, or perhaps Afunch...to match Munch, which we have mentioned in a previous blog post - and incidentally, there's another timeless question for you. Or perhaps it will become timeful after we've made our final decision...any input is welcome! Right, enough of this brackets business now) and said, "I'm absolutely chockers!"

I proceeded to inform her that I doubted very much if any of my American friends would have a clue what she meant by that. Just to clarify, it means she ate her fill (perhaps slightly more than her fill) in a time period spanning 11am to 1:20pm (or so). That is, spanning from MUNCH to AFUNCH. Now that I've muddied the waters, let me clarify - SHE'S FULL O' FOOD.

P.S. "Aunch" would be pronounced ORNCH...and Afunch? Well, no need to explain that one, right?

It's MUNCH time!

And by munch I mean morning tea and lunch combined. Well, it's 10:39am, so closer to lunchtime than to morning tea time. Wouldn't you agree? Ohhhhh, now here we go, let's start debating.

Kidding, kidding. My colleague and I just walked up the street. In the distance I saw a rather wince-worthy sight - COM was headed our way, a determined look on his COF (for an explanation, see the Facetious Fesaurus). I wanted to cross the street to avoid him, but my colleague said "It's too late, he's seen you!" So we kept walking...and he walked right past and didn't see us.

I said, "Maybe he didn't recognise me, what with my swollen head and everything." (See previous blog post for details on Harry-ette Potter, the librarian who lived)

Anyway, COM has been read the letter of the library law and maybe, just maybe, we've seen the end of him. Only time will tell.

Meanwhile...it's 11:00am...still totally MUNCH time.